Back-to-School Butterflies: Helping Kids (and Parents) Ease Into Routine

It’s back-to-school season—new routines, earlier bedtimes, and plenty of big feelings. If your child is more clingy, anxious, or irritable lately, they’re not alone. And if you’re secretly stressed too? That’s completely normal.

As a licensed play therapist and parenting support specialist, I often work with families navigating these transitions. Back-to-school butterflies don’t just live in kids’ bellies—they flutter around in yours, too.

“The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely they will be to recover from stress and thrive.”
— Dr. Bruce Perry, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog

Understanding your child’s nervous system—and your own—can make this season feel less overwhelming and more connected.

What Is Emotional Labor—and Why Does It Show Up Now?

Emotional labor is the invisible work of remembering, preparing, soothing, organizing, and managing everyone’s feelings—especially during transitions.
It’s the mental checklist running while you pack lunches, juggle work meetings, and calm bedtime worries.

Back-to-school transitions amplify that load. And when kids are dysregulated, parents often feel like they have to be everyone’s anchor—even when they’re drowning inside.

What Kids Are Really Saying with Behavior

Younger children often express anxiety through behavior—not words. That’s why you might see:

• Morning meltdowns

• Increased clinginess

• Regression in sleep, toileting, or independence

According to Dr. Daniel Siegel, author of The Whole-Brain Child,

“When we help our children make sense of their experiences, we help them feel seen and safe—which builds stronger brains.”

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Five Gentle Ways to Ease Into Routine

1. Name the Nervousness

Saying, “It makes sense to feel nervous when things are new,” teaches kids that emotions aren’t bad—they’re messengers.

2. Create a Grounding Morning Ritual

Simple things like a calming scent, song, or three belly breaths can help anchor the day. Let your child choose one ritual to own.

3. Use Visuals + Predictable Schedules

Draw or print a morning checklist (brush teeth, shoes on, backpack ready). Kids feel calmer when they can see what’s coming.

4. Reconnect Through Play After School

Even 10 minutes of play that your child leads (pretend, coloring, LEGO, etc.) helps their brain release stress and rebuild safety.

5. The “Worry Hug” Technique (inspired by Dr. Becky)

Hold your child and whisper: “I’m here. We can handle this together.” This co-regulates their nervous system and builds trust.

Parents Get Butterflies Too

If you’re the default parent, the emotional load-carrying partner, or simply worn out by doing it all—you deserve support too. The back-to-school season often reveals how much we’re holding. You don’t need to wait until you “fall apart” to reach out. Therapy can help both you and your child feel more grounded, confident, and connected.

Looking for a Child Therapist Near You?

I offer play therapy, parent coaching, and support for emotionally overwhelmed families. Let’s work together to make transitions easier—so your home feels more like a team, not a battlefield.

angelique@foyefletchertherapy.com | ☎️ 816-207-5827

Follow @foyefletchertherapy on Instagram for real talk on emotional wellness, parenting tips, and play-based healing